How are you doing? Mommy is really sorry that I had not written to you for weeks. Kyxin is 10 months and 2 weeks old, time flies. One year ago, mommy was all alone with you inside me not knowing what to do and at same time worrying that my “old friend” will come visit me. But Kyxin made mommy strong, in the end the unwelcome “old friend” did not come to visit me. Mommy made all the rational choices with a clear mind including…. giving up Kyxin. I am very sorry Kyxin, mommy have to go back to your older siblings. Please forgive me.
Lately, there’s a sign that my “old friend” got hold of me again. Ever since your big brother arrived, she disappeared and there after she never comes back, no matter how upset I get, eventually I am still able to gather positive energy to fight back. But this time, I got scared, I feel like I am losing again. After all the sacrifice I had made, everyone involved had made, I am not going to let this evil “old friend” come back to ruin my life. I need to stay strong for my family and everyone I love. 4 years, she had stayed with me for 4 years until my son came to rescue. That’s it, never come back. Kyxin, please fight with mommy, support mommy like the way you did a year ago.
Mommy saw your latest pictures, I was told that you will ask to see the pictures after you were being taken, self-admiring and kiss yourself. How cute, mommy is grateful that you are a confident and happy little baby. Nothing like me, I am always lack of confidence and negative. Hopefully none of you will inherit this defective genes from me. Tell you a secret, mommy used to have a mole on my face just like yours tiny one on your cheek, only mine was a bit bigger. People, those adults used to make fun of me because of the mole, I became very unconfident with my looks and hate it so much that I wanted it to disappear. I went to remove it when I get older. Mommy wanted to tell Kyxin, Kyxin look so pretty with it on your face, that is unique. Mommy loves the way you are, I will always be proud of you, no matter where you are. Always stay healthy, happy and confident.
With all my love,
How are you? Mommy misses Kyxin, though not as often as I suppose to, mommy really feel bad for it. How could a mom not missing her daughter? Feeling bitter for being accused by myself, I do care for you very much. Kyxin will understand, you could feel the pain in me, you have lived inside me for months, technically you were with me for 39weeks5days. So it’s not break even day yet, you were spending with me longer compared with your adopted family. Kyxin are getting prettier each day, you look so pretty in red. Kyxin, mommy loves you, stay healthy, happy and confident always.
With all my love,
The month of October hasn’t been treating me too well. Emotion went downhill and not-so-uphill. Nothing much to share in words, some pictures to record down the days.
A visit to Shanghai Oriental Land at Qing Pu
Random pics – Jayden’s drawing and the kids modeling after waking up from nap
A visit to Zooligans’ Halloween Celebration
A gift from po po all the way from Brunei – hand made dress and vest with Batik fabrics
How are you? You are another month older, born on the 8th of the month of January, today you are exactly 9 month old. Yesterday was your older sister’s 3rd birthday, mommy made her a cake which no one wants to eat, how sad, my cake won’t rise, it became a hard custard-like cake. It was successful the last time I made this cotton cheese cake, nice and fluffy, well it failed this time. It’s still sitting in the fridge now, guess will need to throw it away after it stays in there for a while.
Time flies, Kyxin will be turning 1 in 3 months time. Mommy will try to bake again secretly for Kyxin and make sure everyone eats my cake this time. Not to worry Kyxin, mommy will eat your share.
Kyxin, mommy try to keep you closely in my heart, but I have to admit sometimes I couldn’t recall your existence. How sad, forgive me, mommy promise I will never do that again. Mommy loves you always, be happy, healthy and confident.
Love you with all my heart,
07.10.2013, my little Wen Wen turned 3. It was a rainy day, we stayed home whole day. Mommy attempted to do some celebration at home to make it a special and unforgettable day for my little princess. Actually I had given the thought on what to do during your birthday three weeks before today. I intended to make you a princess cake, watched YouTube, but it was way out of my baking skill, I backed off. I wanted to build a princess castle, was trying to pin “simple cardboard princess playhouse”, nothing simple as I thought. Mommy missed your 2nd birthday, I really wanted to make it up this time but my creative ability is limited. Hence, your 2nd turned out to be mommy’s-kind-of-imperfect-princess-birthday-celebration for my perfect little princess. Mommy loves you always.
P/s: No more drinking on the bottle after your 3rd birthday.
The princesses puzzle we did together the day before her birthday..
My Red-dyed egg…
becoming… Red “dying” egg.. blame shanghai’s red dye I bought!
My disappointing result, working since 5am, the pancake was for breakfast
… more disappointment … epic fail .. fail big time !!! My supposedly chocolate fudge cookies from the cake mix…
Birthday girl with pajamas
Her imperfect princess play house
Decorating her own cake
Photo shooting and cake cutting
My pretty little Princess Jayne
You are already 8 month old, time flies. Kyxin just had another cousin brother, two days ago. He is 8 months short of one day younger than you, to be exact Kyxin were born on the 08.01.2013 and your little cousin brother on the 07.09.2013.
Kyxin, mommy feel further and further apart from you. When I visited you, when I talked to you, I wished I can call up to you and say, “come to mommy.., mommy carry…. “, but you are now belong to your parents, I can’t, I can only address myself as a “yi yi” to you. “Come to yi yi… “, this words break my heart, I refuse to say.
Kyxin please be happy, be healthy and be confident, love your family, they are good people.
Mommy is very happy to see Kyxin, you are a big girl now, very well taken care by your family. Everyone loves you and pampers you. Kyxin will be turning 8 months soon. May you continue to be blessed with good health and happiness.
Mommy found out something about you which surprised me and at the same time made me feel the bitterness in my heart. Mommy just found out that Kyxin has two cowlicks on the crown of your head. I feel upset that it took me almost 8 months to notice that little detail of yours. This shows that how little time I had spent with you. Mommy didn’t even feel and touch you thoroughly enough to notice that before I hand you over to your kind adopted parents. I am really sorry, Kyxin. Once again please forgive mommy, I love you very much. I think of you all the time. You are special, you are blessed with two families who love you. Your gong gong, po po and yi yis think of you all the time too. Please be happy, healthy and confident always.
With all my love,