Kyxin I love you

10 Apr

Dear Kyxin,

Mommy loves you, I don’t have to let Kyxin go to know that how much I love Kyxin. I though of Kyxin everytime I hear this song. Please forgive me for letting you go. Kyxin will always be with me. Please be happy healthy and confident always.

Love,
Mommy

Let Her Go
Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you’ll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
Well you let her go

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Jayne’s First Week of School

3 Mar

Pictures taken on Jayne’s first week of school. I have missed Jayden’s first 5 months at school. I am going to miss Kyxin’s first week of school and the rest of her school time…

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CNY Penang Trip with Parents and Ai Ai

7 Feb

Our first Chinese New Year trip with my parents, looking forward to the next and many more trips with them.

At KL Low Cost Carrier Terminal Airport

At KL Low Cost Carrier Terminal Airport

Arrived Penang, in the taxi

Arrived Penang, in the taxi

Old Penang Guesthouse Hostel Room

Old Penang Guesthouse Hostel Room

Chilling outside hostel

Chilling outside hostel

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Batu Ferringhi Beach

Batu Ferringhi Beach

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1st Avenue

1st Avenue

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Waiting...

Waiting…

Penang Bridge

Penang Bridge

Penang Bridge View

Penang Bridge View

O_o

O_o

Love of life

Love of life

#_#

#_#

^@^

^@^

Gurney Paragon Mall

Gurney Paragon Mall

Nice tree as background

Nice tree as background

Straits Quay

Straits Quay

Old classmates and relatives

Old classmates and relatives

Fate, meeting the same popo for two consecutive days

Fate, meeting the same popo for two consecutive days

Lion dance

Lion dance

In the bus, standing

In the bus, standing

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Georgetown Camer Museum

Georgetown Camera Museum

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Sunset @ 8pm

Sunset @ 8pm

Candid @Kek Lo Si

Candid @Kek Lo Si

Mum and Dad @Kek Lo Si

Mum and Dad @Kek Lo Si

Sister @ Kek Lo Si

Sister @ Kek Lo Si

Pathway to Kek Lo Si

Pathway to Kek Lo Si

In the bus

In the bus

Love Lane

Love Lane

Lunch

Lunch

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Postcard for hubby and the kids from Penang

Postcard for hubby and the kids from Penang

Churches in Penang

Churches in Penang

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Penang Airport @ 11pm marks the end to our Penang trip

Penang Airport @ 11pm marks the end to our Penang trip

Meeting one year old Kyxin

28 Jan

Dear Kyxin,

Mommy was so grateful that I got to spend a few hours with Kyxin. Kyxin had grown so much, learning to walk and eating non stop with your six tiny little teeth. Kyxin is such an easy baby, mommy is so proud of you. I love you so much, thank you for letting me hold you after staying on with me for a while. Mommy will be upset if Kyxin wouldn’t let me hold you. Thank God for making this happen, mommy is so grateful for today. Please stay happy, healthy and confident for mommy.

With all my love,
Mommy

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Happy 1st Birthday Kyxin

8 Jan

Dear Kyxin,

Happy 1st Birthday to Kyxin. Time flies, mommy’s baby girl has grown so much, sorry really sorry for not being able to be with you on your first and many more birthdays to come. Mommy made you a cake as promised, I made a wish and blowed the candle for you. Mommy also painted one red egg for you with water color. (I was really upset when I couldn’t find any red food coloring here in Shanghai, China!!) I broke a little hole and fried the egg then I painted the shell. Mommy ate the fried (red) egg for you too. My little Kyxin will be strong and healthy. Mommy almost broke my promise to bake Kyxin a cake. A friend inspired me, she said she will be baking a pear and chocolate cake for a friend, when I told her I was upset that I couldn’t do anything for Kyxin’s 1st birthday, she said she will dedicate her friend’s cake to my Kyxin. She said “……the so called cake here (Nantes, France) for this month (January) for a king or for a queen….” The pear and chocolate cake inspired me, I started thinking what ingredient I had at home, a big fresh mango and cocoa powder, so I googled for Choco Mango Cake. It happened so that I had most of the ingredients except for I only had bread flour at home, it turned out well, more like bread though. Kyxin, mommy really loves you, but that’s all I can do for now. Please forgive mommy. Happy Birthday Kyxin, stay healthy, happy and confident always.

With all my love,
Mommy

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Kyxin’s Belated 10 Months Old

23 Nov

Dear Kyxin,

How are you doing? Mommy is really sorry that I had not written to you for weeks. Kyxin is 10 months and 2 weeks old, time flies. One year ago, mommy was all alone with you inside me not knowing what to do and at same time worrying that my “old friend” will come visit me. But Kyxin made mommy strong, in the end the unwelcome “old friend” did not come to visit me. Mommy made all the rational choices with a clear mind including…. giving up Kyxin. I am very sorry Kyxin, mommy have to go back to your older siblings. Please forgive me.

Lately, there’s a sign that my “old friend” got hold of me again. Ever since your big brother arrived, she disappeared and there after she never comes back, no matter how upset I get, eventually I am still able to gather positive energy to fight back. But this time, I got scared, I feel like I am losing again. After all the sacrifice I had made, everyone involved had made, I am not going to let this evil “old friend” come back to ruin my life. I need to stay strong for my family and everyone I love. 4 years, she had stayed with me for 4 years until my son came to rescue. That’s it, never come back. Kyxin, please fight with mommy, support mommy like the way you did a year ago.

Mommy saw your latest pictures, I was told that you will ask to see the pictures after you were being taken, self-admiring and kiss yourself. How cute, mommy is grateful that you are a confident and happy little baby. Nothing like me, I am always lack of confidence and negative. Hopefully none of you will inherit this defective genes from me. Tell you a secret, mommy used to have a mole on my face just like yours tiny one on your cheek, only mine was a bit bigger. People, those adults used to make fun of me because of the mole, I became very unconfident with my looks and hate it so much that I wanted it to disappear. I went to remove it when I get older. Mommy wanted to tell Kyxin, Kyxin look so pretty with it on your face, that is unique. Mommy loves the way you are, I will always be proud of you, no matter where you are. Always stay healthy, happy and confident.

With all my love,
Mommy

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Kyxin’s latest pics I gathered…

1 Nov

Dear Kyxin,

How are you? Mommy misses Kyxin, though not as often as I suppose to, mommy really feel bad for it. How could a mom not missing her daughter? Feeling bitter for being accused by myself, I do care for you very much. Kyxin will understand, you could feel the pain in me, you have lived inside me for months, technically you were with me for 39weeks5days. So it’s not break even day yet, you were spending with me longer compared with your adopted family. Kyxin are getting prettier each day, you look so pretty in red. Kyxin, mommy loves you, stay healthy, happy and confident always.

With all my love,
Mommy

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